Book Review: Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquardt

Most people who know me very well understand that I can get pretty passionate with my defense of marriage. As an Adult Child of Divorce (ACOD), I and many from my generation have come through living between mom and dad as well as living with a step parent and step siblings.

Recently, I read an awesome book for ACODs, divorced parents, judges, psychologists, and others who work with children or adults who suffered through their parents' divorce. Between Two Worlds by Elizabeth Marquardt offers understanding, compassion, and honesty for the first generation of kids who grew up in divorced homes. Marquardt is a ACOD. Thereby, she can offer us hope and answers as to why we feel exiled from the rest of the world.

The book's intention is not to make divorced couples feel guilty, but to understand that there isn't such a concept as a 'good divorce,' and that all divorces bring hurt, confusion, and disconnection to the child-survivors. Marquardt writes from a child's point of view on divorce rather than from the adults' point of view about divorce. Additionally, Marquardt uses scientific data taken from surveys and interviews that she conducted with ACODS to back up her assertions.

To give you an idea about what the theme of the book's about, here is an excerpt from the conclusion of her book, "This is the truth about us: Some of us, many more than those from intact families, struggle with serious problems. Our parents' divorce is linked to our higher rates of depression, suicidal attempts and thoughts, health problems, childhood sexual abuse, school dropout, failure to attend college, arrests, addiction, teen pregnancy, and more...If you ask any of us about our lives, though, you'll discover that our parents' divorce is central to the story of our childhood and to who we are today. We grew up too soon. We were not sure where we belonged. We often missed our parents terribly when we were not with them. Some of us longed to be like our parents and yet agonized if we resembled one of them too closely. We had to figure things out for ourselves--what is right and wrong, what to believe, whether there is a God. We never knew we could ask for help if we needed it. When we faced struggles, we thought it was up to us alone to make sense of it, because the silence about our childhoods seemed to leave us little other choice" (Marquardt 188-189).

If you're searching for answers as to why you feel out of place with your extended families, if you desparately work to make your marriage work, and you want to provide your children with a sense of connection and security that you didn't have as a child of divorce, then Marquardt's Between Two Worlds is for you.

Teach Your Children Manners!

Wendy Komancheck
Two-minute Tutor: Teaching your kids manners
Word Count: 433

Whatever happened to manners? I was amazed when I went to the Ephrata Community Pool a few weekends ago. I had my young son with me, and one boy took our swimming noodle. Another child purposely splashed water at us, and he continued to do so after we told him to stop. I talked to the pool manager about it before we left for the day. She was sympathetic and instructed me to make sure the guards are aware of these situations. I must say I was impressed by this young woman’s tenacity.

A few days later, my husband, my children, and I went to the pool again. We had a great time playing in the pool until four to five “big” middle school kids started a water battle in the shallow end where we were playing.

“Hey,” I called up to the lifeguard. “Can you tell these kids to move to the middle of the pool? My sons can’t swim.” My one son was by the wall at the very shallow end, almost overcome by these teens.

The lifeguard sympathized, “Those kids are here all the time. Can you take your kids to the baby pool?”

I was dumbfounded. “No,” I said, “I can’t. My boys are too big for the baby pool. Besides, I paid for a membership as much as those [bigger] kids’ parents did. I have every right to be at the very shallow end of the pool. I complained to the manager about this…”

Her reply: “Well, you can complain to the manager again.”

Amazing---I was getting mad now. “No, she told me to say something to the lifeguard. And you are supposed to do something about it!”

I had to give a couple of angry stares at the feeble lifeguard until she told the kids to move away.

The whole point is typical of society at large. People and their offspring are getting ruder by the generation. The bigger ones overwhelm the smaller ones, and the ones in authority avoid confrontation at all costs.

What am I urging you, as parents, to do? Teach your kids some manners, or if your teens are in positions of authority as a camp counselor or lifeguard, teach them how to do their job. Lifeguarding and camp counseling is not just a job or a time to work on your tan. It’s a job that requires vigilance and safety.

Teach your older kids to be considerate of parents and their young children. Teach your teens to use manners, be considerate, and to share. In other words, teach your kids manners!

Top Ten Sites for PA History in Ephrata PA

Do you homeschool in PA, where the state law requires that you teach your kids PA history? Or, if you’re sending your child to a traditional school setting, you might want to supplement your student’s PA history requirement by visiting the following sites together.

There are plenty of mini field trips for free or low cost that you can do in your local town that adds pizzazz to teaching PA history. Below, I’m listing five out of ten top sites in the Ephrata vicinity where you can visit for free or for a very low price. And, these sites work toward completing your Pennsylvania history requirement.

Take an hour or two to visit the Cocalico Valley Historical Society on Main Street in Ephrata. Call 717-733-1616 for hours and admission prices. The librarian will answer questions about Ephrata history, show you artifacts, and give you a tour of the building. Your objective could be learning the history of Ephrata, alone, where you ask about the early founders, the date the town was incorporated, what major industries were represented in town, what was the first church, the first hospital, the first post office, etc. You may be surprised by what you learn.

Visit the Indian Museum on Cocalico Road, at the Tom Grater Memorial Park. The museum has Indian artifacts and the museum is housed in a historical home.


Call the Playhouse in the Park, and see if they can give you a tour of the theater along with a brief talk on the history of the playhouse, which was started by the American Legion.

The Cloister of Ephrata is a popular place to visit. This time, walk the grounds, as well as take a tour of the buildings. From there, take the path to the War Memorial.

Before your visit to the War Memorial, see if you can find out more information about it through the Cocalico Valley Historical Society. Share that information with your children and then, walk through the cemetery and read the tombstones. When you visit the War Memorial next to the Ephrata Area High School’s stadium and behind the Ephrata Cloister, take time to read the markers of the War Memorial and the placard that describes the founders of the memorial. See what you learn from these markers, and the bodies that are buried there.

If you would like to receive the full copy of the Top 10 PA History Sites within Ephrata’s Boundaries, you can email me at wendykomancheck@yahoo.com.

What makes a good homeschool evaluator?

How many of you moms panic at the end of the school year? You have lessons to finish, recitals and plays to attend, and portfolios to organize. It’s stressful, I’m sure. I’m not there yet as a homeschool mom, but I’ve seen the exhaustion and nervousness walk through my front door each spring that I evaluate area students. I’ve been an evaluator for the past five years or so, and I can see the work that you put into your children’s education.

So, what makes a good evaluator? First, a good evaluator supports your efforts as a homeschool parent. They don’t grade you or your children, and they shouldn’t waste your time quizzing your children on any given subject.

Second, a good evaluator shouldn’t charge you a huge fee. It’s scamming the hardworking parents when the evaluator starts asking for high fees over $30 for high school students, and over $20 for elementary students. The only exception to the rule are evaluators who work with PHAA students. An additional $5.00 paperwork fee is reasonable. But, over $35 for high school evaluations can be considered close to highway robbery!

Third, an evaluator should NEVER ask you or your child to write an essay or take a test. The only exception would be requirements set by diploma programs. For example, Pennsylvania Homeschoolers’ (PHAA) diploma program requires a 10-page paper along with three other compositions each school year. So, PHAA is an exception to the rule. Otherwise, an evaluator is not complying with PA Homeschool law when they start asking the mother for synopsis of each class taken. It’s even shady when an evaluator insists on keeping the portfolio for a week. Their job is to look over the portfolio and log at the time of the evaluation---not to study it or dissect it over a period of time.

Parents, know your homeschool law, and don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself by saying, “PA Homeschool law only requires you to meet my son/daughter, to review his/her portfolio, and to review his/her log.” All in all, this process should last no more than 15-30 minutes per student.

Wendy Komancheck takes pride in staying at home to be a mother and wife. In her spare time, she writes for trade magazines, local publications, and grants. She also tutors, evaluates, and empowers parents to advocate for their children’s education. For more information, you can email her at wendykomancheck@yahoo.com.

Welcome to the Two Minute Tutor Blogspot

You've probably come to this blogspot to take something with you about learning. This spot can also help you if you're a homeschooling parent. My blogs will come with ideas on teaching at different grade levels, scholarship ideas, the diploma program dilemma, among other learning and homeschooling issues. This blogspot is here for Pennsylvania homeschool parents as well as anyone interested in growing as a learner. Welcome!